PURPOSE: Unique – Made For a Reason

As hard as I try, my house never reaches the Pinterest picture perfect look. And boy have I tried. I love hosting parties, and yet I rarely had because I dreaded the judgement I was sure each guest would have. I would stress and lead my family like a drill sergeant, barking orders of things that needed organized or cleaned. I wanted so much to be one of those mothers who had companies use their home to advertise products, because their home was so perfect. My home never reached those standards, and I was left feeling empty and worthless. I’m a failure. My baseboards are dusty, the windows are covered with hand prints, and who knows if something is living up above my cabinets. Though I stay consistent on washing the laundry, the folding … not so much … I end up just throwing it by my bed, with the idea that I will fold it as I watch tv at night… and the pile grows, until I am going to have guests over. Then I try to have it folded, because I don’t want them to think I’m a bad homemaker.

My sister in-law is one of the greatest, hardest working, entrepreneurs I’ve had the pleasure of knowing. She’s poured hours upon hours on her craft. She creates, designs, and writes such amazing pieces. She wakes up early to sit in a booth as people buy her product. She’s created an Etsy account, branded herself and truly is on the road to amazing things. She’s found her niche. As I look at all the incredible things she has done and accomplished, I feel a little bitter that I am not as gifted. And shame on me. But what am I good at? What can I create that can be as profitable? Again, I’m left feeling sorry for myself; feeling a lack of self worth.

Facebook as an amazing portal to see into the lives of those we don’t get to see on a day to day basis. In some cases, we’ve never actually seen them at all. And yet, I am enamored by how funny their kids are. Their children are so very well behaved, wherever they go. Christmas photos could literally be taken on any day, because they are all looking immaculate and put together at all times. I rarely feel my family is “postable ”. In order to get a good photo, everything is staged and smiles seem forced. My family would not be featured in any magazine. And you can guess; a feeling of discontentment and self pity rise inside of me. I don’t measure up. I’m not good enough. Everyone else looks so good. No one would ever want to see my family.

If those examples aren’t enough to give you a picture of my “stinkin thinkin”, I can give you more. I created such high standards for myself that I could never measure up. I was angry and stressed and depressed a lot. I hadn’t realized how big of a problem this was, or even that it was a problem, until a very wise woman pointed it out to me.

Who am I? What was I created to do? What, in my life, was most important to me? Who distinguishes my worth? Where does my value come from? Are we all created the same – each with the same gifts and talents? What do I enjoy doing in my free time? Where do I find my joy? What are my top three roles at this moment? What are my top three responsibilities at this time? What are my top priorities? Are my priorities in the proper order?

I grappled with each of these questions for months. Honestly, I still catch myself erring occasionally. Each of us needs to answer those questions for ourselves. If you’re willing, it may be beneficial to take a moment and try to answer a few now. Really examine yourself and what is truly important. Though our answers may vary greatly, a few things are the same for each and every one of us.

We were created for a purpose, otherwise we wouldn’t be on this earth. As a Christian, I believe we were called for great things. We are part of a bigger plan than just our own. Despite whether your faith lines up with mine or not, we can all agree that in each and every one of us there is this tug for something more. It drives us to pursue bigger and greater things. But if our goals are not correct, we can feel that reoccurring emptiness and longing. So what are our goals? How do we identify what we are supposed to do?

In 1 Corinthians 10, I am reminded of our number one purpose:

“Whether you eat or drink or whatever you do, do all for the glory of God.” 1 Corinthians 10:31

It’s easy to have this verse memorized, but gloss over what it is commanding us to do. I love how the beginning of this passage is “whether you eat or drink”. May I not be misinterpreting scriptures, but I read this as saying, “each and every moment, no matter how small the action is, do everything for the glory of God”.

Along the same lines, Colossians 3:23 says, “whatever you do [again… any and everything you do] work at it with all your heart, as working for the Lord, not for human masters”. The only praise we should desire is from the Lord. Accolades are fantastic and encouraging, for sure. And I am by no means saying that we should stop complimenting others. Please keep building others up. But often I so easily forget who truly deserves the glory in praise.

Continuing on, we all take on different roles. Those roles may even change over time. For me, I identify that my current, most important roles, are as a wife, mother, and teacher. In this phase of life I need to say no to many things that do not correlate. My priorities are to my husband and my children, not to my house, my business, or our public image. When there is free time, I can fill in the gaps (to a healthy extent) with the other things, but only when I’m not filling my three main roles.

Another thing we must do, is stop looking around at everyone else. Just stop looking around. 😂 We were not raised the same. We did not learn the same things. We have entirely different make ups! And if you think about it, this is a very wonderful thing. It makes us unique. And that’s what we are! Unique. Special. One of a kind. And if anyone has told you otherwise, don’t let them in your life.

Listen to me …

If you haven’t read anything else please hear this:

You are loved. You are valued. You are you, and no one else can be “you” better.

Write that down and plaster it all over your house if you need to. We cannot limit ourselves and our abilities by looking at the world and the people around us. We will ALWAYS fall short and have the negative feelings that are sure to follow. But, when we set our eyes above and on our higher purpose, then we can live our full life, worthy of our calling. We will feel joy and contentment; fulfillment and worth.

It’s not an easy, one day fix. I am still working at it. I would love to hear from you. How are you doing? Remember, you’re not alone. Let’s go through this together.