Welcome Back!

Why

This section is two pronged:

Why should we have resolutions & what is our “why”.

Resolutions should not be a once a year, pass or fail routine. There are things that each of us can improve. We should keep growing ourselves. It is not necessary to begin at the first of the year, only to begin.

As a Christian, each and everyday we should work to look more and more like Jesus Christ. This is called progressive sanctification. It is progressive, because it’s never truly done. We cannot reach perfection on this earth. Therefore, there is room for growth.

To master something is defined as, “To acquire complete knowledge or skill in (an accomplishment, technique, or art)”. [verb]

I say this, not to discourage, but to encourage you. Most have not “acquired complete knowledge or skill”. There is room to grow, things to learn, and ways to better ourselves. The sky is the limit. What is that for you?

Like I mentioned earlier, I have developed some pretty bad habits. Whether physical, spiritual or emotional, they need to be stopped! But saying, “I want to stop my current habits” does little to nothing on its own to solve anything. So we know there’s an issue; now what.

Develop your “why”. Why do you want to change? Where would you like to be in a year from now?

Your “why” needs to be greater than your fear and doubt. One of the harshest critics is ourselves. Doubt, negativity, and the lack of motivation will creep in and the belief is pushed out.

Remember, that some fear is good. Some goals may get us out of our comfort zone. But overcome that fear with action and results.

Think about the great sports movies, or the superhero’s. The struggles, battles, and doubt are overcome in the end because of the “why”. There was something that was worth fighting for.

Fight for your goals and dreams. You have been blessed with the passion for a reason. What is it that is holding you back?

Honestly, I have not been one for resolutions. It just seems like a magical dream board that will improve me and/or my life. Sure, I am pumped and ready to rock the initial day or so, and then… the work is more than I had thought it would be… so I quit. This happens to most of us. Believe it or not, less than 10% of people actually follow through and achieve their resolutions.

Well then, that’s it. I’m a statistic. I am already doomed to fail. Why try?

BUT…

I also do not like some things in my life that have become unhealthy habits. So, just give up?

NO WAY! You and I are called for amazing things. Only God should stand in the way of our goals.

So how can the resolutions become more than just empty words and broken dreams?

It boils down to a correct thought process. I’ve broken this down into three posts; where to begin, why, and how to endure.

WHERE TO BEGIN

If you haven’t read my post “Purpose:Unique – Made for a Reason”, do it now. Before we set goals, we need to make sure they line up with who we are and our purpose. We should not try to be someone else.

These goals almost must be realistic and achievable. It’s awesome to have long term goals, but that’s exactly what they are — long. In it’s name, they should not be reached in a day or even sometimes months. So as you choose what you’d like to work on, remember to put realistic time spans. Enjoy delayed gratification.

Along with that, break the large goals into smaller, more achievable goals along the way. Everyone needs a win. It drives us to believe in ourselves and what we are capable of doing. (Because, remember, you are capable of wonderful things!)

Another key thing is to create a visual dream board. Name it whatever you want, the importance is the same. Make it out of poster board or cardboard; whatever you can get. It doesn’t have to be fancy. But it is a critical part. Place it somewhere you will see every day. Allow yourself to dream big. Put pictures and motivational quotes on it that resonate with you and remind you of the end result you’re trying to achieve.

And really put some thought into what you allow on your board. For example, a picture of a “perfectly fit body” is not the most helpful. It places the focus on an image and figure we are trying to attain, that may be totally unattainable. Focus instead on the lifestyle you desire to have.

And that brings us to the “why”.

Let me begin by saying, out of all the posts, past and future, I know that my attitude is one of the most difficult things for me to control. Whether it is my body or verbal language, I ‘lose it’ all too often.

As I was growing up, my emotions were referred to as a roller coaster. I have always been very passionate about everything. Either things are amazing, or things are just the pits. I would like to think that over the years I have grown, but I still err too often.

I have to laugh, one of my daughters is exactly like me. She is the funniest little nut, but then seconds later, she’s whining. I think God gives us children who replicate our behaviors as a child to give us more appreciation for our parents and what they went through with us. 😂

It is so difficult not to let things bother me in a way that is expressed outwardly for others to witness. Perhaps it is pride. Or selfishness? Whatever the reason, it is wrong, and I’ve GOT to learn to manage my responses better.

How do you respond in different situations? When someone accuses you of something, what do you do? When a child disobeys how to you handle that?

The Bible mentions tempers and speech (our tongue) over 126 times. One reason I feel comfortable about sharing my struggle is because I know this is a huge problem for numerous people. If it were not so, there would not be so many verses in the Bible reminding us how we are to interact with those around us.

The verse in the Bible that I want to focus on today states,

“A gentle answer turns away anger, but a harsh word stirs up wrath” – Proverbs 15:1.

I taught this to my children, and it has had a different affect on our family than I’d anticipated. Not only does it come in handy for reminding the children of their actions, but they also use it when my husband and I are “having a discussion”. It feels like a smack in the face, every time, but it also stops me in my tracks and makes me rethink my words and tone.

“A gentle answer turns away anger”. Let’s dissect this a bit.

Our communication is most effective when it remains calm and gentle. I’m sure you’ve noticed as well, when we respond with grace, the recipient tends to respond the same way. It then can be said the same for anger, and thus the end portion, “but a harsh word stirs up wrath”. I’ve felt the blood inside me boil when someone speaks to me in a rude manner. It reminds me of the other verse, “Do unto others what you would like them to do to you” (Matthew 7:12). We could insert the word, “Speak” or “Respond” in place of “do”. Let’s not be people who strive to “stir up wrath”.

A friend of mine also gave me a bit more insight into this verse. She adds that when we speak in a gentle answer, it turns away our own anger as well. Despite whether the other party is calm or not, we can keep our emotions down by keep our speech gentle and level headed.

People are watching you and I. If you work, the employer/employees notice what you do. If you’re in a place of leadership, you’ve been blessed with many eyes to see what you will do. And if you have children, there are very limited moments when you’re not being followed. What are we teaching or saying to those around us? Are we a good example? Are we living uprightly even when it’s difficult? The choice belongs to each and everyone of us.

I choose, right now, to do what is unnatural, and speak with love and gentleness. Will you join me?

As hard as I try, my house never reaches the Pinterest picture perfect look. And boy have I tried. I love hosting parties, and yet I rarely had because I dreaded the judgement I was sure each guest would have. I would stress and lead my family like a drill sergeant, barking orders of things that needed organized or cleaned. I wanted so much to be one of those mothers who had companies use their home to advertise products, because their home was so perfect. My home never reached those standards, and I was left feeling empty and worthless. I’m a failure. My baseboards are dusty, the windows are covered with hand prints, and who knows if something is living up above my cabinets. Though I stay consistent on washing the laundry, the folding … not so much … I end up just throwing it by my bed, with the idea that I will fold it as I watch tv at night… and the pile grows, until I am going to have guests over. Then I try to have it folded, because I don’t want them to think I’m a bad homemaker.

My sister in-law is one of the greatest, hardest working, entrepreneurs I’ve had the pleasure of knowing. She’s poured hours upon hours on her craft. She creates, designs, and writes such amazing pieces. She wakes up early to sit in a booth as people buy her product. She’s created an Etsy account, branded herself and truly is on the road to amazing things. She’s found her niche. As I look at all the incredible things she has done and accomplished, I feel a little bitter that I am not as gifted. And shame on me. But what am I good at? What can I create that can be as profitable? Again, I’m left feeling sorry for myself; feeling a lack of self worth.

Facebook as an amazing portal to see into the lives of those we don’t get to see on a day to day basis. In some cases, we’ve never actually seen them at all. And yet, I am enamored by how funny their kids are. Their children are so very well behaved, wherever they go. Christmas photos could literally be taken on any day, because they are all looking immaculate and put together at all times. I rarely feel my family is “postable ”. In order to get a good photo, everything is staged and smiles seem forced. My family would not be featured in any magazine. And you can guess; a feeling of discontentment and self pity rise inside of me. I don’t measure up. I’m not good enough. Everyone else looks so good. No one would ever want to see my family.

If those examples aren’t enough to give you a picture of my “stinkin thinkin”, I can give you more. I created such high standards for myself that I could never measure up. I was angry and stressed and depressed a lot. I hadn’t realized how big of a problem this was, or even that it was a problem, until a very wise woman pointed it out to me.

Who am I? What was I created to do? What, in my life, was most important to me? Who distinguishes my worth? Where does my value come from? Are we all created the same – each with the same gifts and talents? What do I enjoy doing in my free time? Where do I find my joy? What are my top three roles at this moment? What are my top three responsibilities at this time? What are my top priorities? Are my priorities in the proper order?

I grappled with each of these questions for months. Honestly, I still catch myself erring occasionally. Each of us needs to answer those questions for ourselves. If you’re willing, it may be beneficial to take a moment and try to answer a few now. Really examine yourself and what is truly important. Though our answers may vary greatly, a few things are the same for each and every one of us.

We were created for a purpose, otherwise we wouldn’t be on this earth. As a Christian, I believe we were called for great things. We are part of a bigger plan than just our own. Despite whether your faith lines up with mine or not, we can all agree that in each and every one of us there is this tug for something more. It drives us to pursue bigger and greater things. But if our goals are not correct, we can feel that reoccurring emptiness and longing. So what are our goals? How do we identify what we are supposed to do?

In 1 Corinthians 10, I am reminded of our number one purpose:

“Whether you eat or drink or whatever you do, do all for the glory of God.” 1 Corinthians 10:31

It’s easy to have this verse memorized, but gloss over what it is commanding us to do. I love how the beginning of this passage is “whether you eat or drink”. May I not be misinterpreting scriptures, but I read this as saying, “each and every moment, no matter how small the action is, do everything for the glory of God”.

Along the same lines, Colossians 3:23 says, “whatever you do [again… any and everything you do] work at it with all your heart, as working for the Lord, not for human masters”. The only praise we should desire is from the Lord. Accolades are fantastic and encouraging, for sure. And I am by no means saying that we should stop complimenting others. Please keep building others up. But often I so easily forget who truly deserves the glory in praise.

Continuing on, we all take on different roles. Those roles may even change over time. For me, I identify that my current, most important roles, are as a wife, mother, and teacher. In this phase of life I need to say no to many things that do not correlate. My priorities are to my husband and my children, not to my house, my business, or our public image. When there is free time, I can fill in the gaps (to a healthy extent) with the other things, but only when I’m not filling my three main roles.

Another thing we must do, is stop looking around at everyone else. Just stop looking around. 😂 We were not raised the same. We did not learn the same things. We have entirely different make ups! And if you think about it, this is a very wonderful thing. It makes us unique. And that’s what we are! Unique. Special. One of a kind. And if anyone has told you otherwise, don’t let them in your life.

Listen to me …

If you haven’t read anything else please hear this:

You are loved. You are valued. You are you, and no one else can be “you” better.

Write that down and plaster it all over your house if you need to. We cannot limit ourselves and our abilities by looking at the world and the people around us. We will ALWAYS fall short and have the negative feelings that are sure to follow. But, when we set our eyes above and on our higher purpose, then we can live our full life, worthy of our calling. We will feel joy and contentment; fulfillment and worth.

It’s not an easy, one day fix. I am still working at it. I would love to hear from you. How are you doing? Remember, you’re not alone. Let’s go through this together.

Hi! I am beyond grateful that you have dared to venture to my page! Welcome! It has been a somewhat recent, but quickly growing, passion and desire of mine to write a blog. But as with any new venture, fear and doubt crept in and held me back.

No more!

I’ve decided to risk it.

If you’re anything like me, you scroll Pinterest looking for a specific article that fits the need at the time. So though I hope we develop a loyal friendship throughout these posts, and you find a virtual hug, helping hand, or a shoulder to lean on, I know I may not be for everyone at every moment. And that is quite alright. ☺️

As I begin this adventure, I want to make something very clear. I am not perfect. Any one who knows me can tell you that. I am a flawed wife and often an exasperated homeschool mother of 5. I have messed up so many times, and have had to ask forgiveness way more than 490 times (Matthew‬ ‭18:21-22). 🤦🏻‍♀️

We all make mistakes. We all mess up. My goal is to share some of my mistakes, followed up with the lessons I’ve learned. I pray that you may find some encouragement in each post. But even if only one person gains some encouragement from any of my experiences, I am overjoyed to have taken this leap. 😌

AND IF YOU WOULD LIKE TO KNOW MORE…

… I am a wife to one of the hardest working men I’ve ever met. We’ve been married for 10 years. Wowza! During that time, we had the fortune of having 5 beautiful children; 4 girls and 1 boy. We have a small rat terrier, that seems more like a lazy old cat than dog. I am the second oldest of twelve siblings. I have been a CC homeschool mom for 4 years, and a tutor for 2. I’ve been a worship leader for 11 years.

But most important of all, I have loved the Lord for almost 25 years. I know each and every thing I have has been a gift from God. It is only by His abounding grace and never ending mercy that I am where I am today. It is because of Him that I feel led (and bold enough) to share my hurts, struggles, failures and then my growth with whoever will hear me. Each word that I write, I pray, is everything, and only, what brings Him honor and glory. ‘’Not to us, but to Your name be the glory.” So without further ado, here is my messy life. ❤️