Fearless???

Truth time! … I have avoided writing this post. It took another panic attack (just moments ago) to motivate me to write. I have wrestled with the question, “How can I write about the ability to be fearless, when I live with mental battles?” But today, as I had my panic attack, I felt it was the time to write again. I may live with moments of fear, but I will no longer be afraid to write.

Panic translates,

“sudden uncontrollable fear or anxiety”.

“Sudden”… “uncontrollable” … How can we possibly live a life fearless?

We may have different opinions on this question. So here’s where I stand… 😬

Do the research yourself.

😂

But really, make sure that anything anyone says lines up with God’s word. We must evaluate everything. No one here on earth is perfect. Though I write with the best intentions, I may make mistakes. Please let me know, with grace, if I am flawed in my thinking. We should all seek to grow in Christ and our understanding of Him and His word. 🥰

Story Time!

My children spent all day playing in the beautiful sunshine. They ran all over the yard. As they ran, they left toys strewn all over our property.

Time flew by, and before they knew it, dinner time had come. It wasn’t until just before bed that we realized all of their toys were still outside. It was late, and the sun had already set. Most of the items were in view of the porch lights, yet some were just past it’s rays. My eight and nine year old children were filled with trepidation and wouldn’t go into the dark. I said, “Don’t be afraid! There is nothing to fear! I am right here. I won’t let anything happen to you. You need to trust me.” And yet, they were still afraid.

All throughout scripture God tells us, “Do not fear”, “do not worry”, “be anxious for nothing”. These are commands. As I look at it from the paternal side, I see it as a loving phrase, wanting only good for us. God desires that we turn our eyes away from what is unseen and look to Him. Fear is “an unpleasant emotion caused by the belief that someone or something is dangerous, likely to cause pain, or a threat.” In most cases, these feelings rarely come true. My panic and anxieties have lied to me over and over again. As I become more and more familiar with my stress triggers, I will also be able to discover the lies riddled throughout, and thus fight them head on.

According to mind.org.uk, a few causes of stress may be:

• Feel under lots of pressure

• Face big changes in your life

• Are worried about something

• Don’t have much or any control over the outcome of a situation

• Have responsibilities that you find overwhelming

• Don’t have enough work, activities or change in your life

• Experience discrimination, hate or abuse

• Are going through a period of uncertainty

Many of these deal with unknowns; waiting for outcomes, worries that may or may not happen, and things completely out of our control. I can attest to feeling the weight of many, if not all of these at some point or another, and in the moment they feel overwhelming – unbearable really!

Indulge me if you will, and look at your own stressors. Pinpoint just one. Got it? Good. Now let us listen gently to what our body’s are trying to tell us. What is the origin for our stress?

A triage nurse (may God bless her) shared with me a piece of helpful advice. “Visualize your anxiety,” she said. “For me, my anxiety is an agitated and impatient child who acts in outbursts and explosions when I don’t listen to him.” She described to me in detail, as she personified her feelings. Depression was a old woman in a rocking chair, and each emotion was given a name. As she felt her stressors from any of the emotions, she wouldn’t back away and try to shove them down further, but would lean in and allow herself to listen to what she was needing. Had she been too busy she hadn’t given herself time to rest? Was she comparing herself to somebody else? Are bills stacking up and she’s been putting them off? With everything that came up, she gently and gracefully (and imaginatively and privately… 😂) listened to her body’s concerns. By doing this, she was able to remind herself that she was in control of her emotions, not the other way around.

My panic attacks have been linked to very physical issues in my body. My hormones and thyroid have been to blame for the majority of the attacks. (Note: If you’re like me, vitamins, supplements or medicines could prove helpful!)

It is comforting to know, as I could feel my chest tighten, that there is a chemical imbalance in my body. And though I was discouraged, I felt better knowing the source. But can I live “fearless”?

I went to my room crying and looked over numerous verses that included the word “fear”. One of the first to come up was 2 Timothy 1:7.

“You were not given a spirit of fear, but of power and love and self control.”

It is not God’s desire for us to be afraid.

It is also not God’s will for us to do things alone.

How many times have we gone about our day, week, month, years – totally oblivious to our need of God’s help… until our breaking point. With 5 kids and a husband, that point may come a lot sooner than others. 😂

Can we eliminate most of our fears by being in constant fellowship with Christ Jesus through prayer and His word? Life is busy and seems to pull us all over – it seems as if out of our control. Would it be worth it to spend 10 minutes a day with God if it lessens the blow of the panic attacks? God wants to be our aid and our protector. One of the greatest ways He showed this was by sending His son for us.

Imagine as a parent the thought of your one and only child, whom you dearly love, choosing to die so that others could live. As a parent, we would rather the punishment be laid upon us. Jesus knew that He would need to pay the ultimate price to give us salvation. What pain God the Father must have felt, as He watch His son, Jesus, be born, ridiculed, beaten, and killed; all to save all sinners who would believe. Now try and wrap your mind around this:

“Since he did not spare even his own Son but gave him up for us all, won’t he also give us everything else?” - Romans 8:32

Isn’t that incredible?!? God allowed His one and only, dearly beloved son to die for us! How can we shy away from asking God for help? Why do we try to make it on our own? God has already given the greatest thing He has for us. What else could even compare to the treasure that Christ is to God? This should give us joy, that our requests are not burdensome to God. He desires to hear from us! It was for us Christ died. Jesus died to show His great love for us! His love so pure desires to carry our yokes, and give us relief and peace, which passes understanding.

I praise the Lord for my panic attack. I was able to go through the emotional roller coaster proclaiming that I am not afraid. It is possible to have a panic attack and shift the focus from fear to peace.

Going back to the story of my children, it wasn’t until I ventured out into the dark with them that they truly felt courageous.

You are not alone.

Lean on your friends and family. Join a Bible study. Write a blog. ☺️ Share your hurts with others, and rejoice in your victories – no matter how small. Nothing happens without a reason. I pray that you will be able to look back on your trials with praise, seeing that they had been an opportunity for growth.

Though I may not know you, I pray for you. You’re not alone in your battle.

Remember, “God will never leave you or forsake you”. ❤️